As a person with 3 older brothers and one younger, I know what it’s like to live in the shadow. Two of my older brothers were athletic and fit. I had to try and live up to that. The other one was a very talented singer (still is) and is very intelligent. I had to try and match all of those qualities while still trying to stay true to my own talents. That is a lot to put on a middle school kid going into high school. Even when I thought I was close to coming out of their shadow, it either turned out to be not good enough or my younger brother would come up and out shine me. My younger brother is fit and can sing not as good but close enough to one of my older brothers.
At first, this all was devastating to me. I was trying to fit the mold of people who I really wasn’t and ended up in their shadow. I had to change. When I went off to college, I became the person I wanted to be. I didn’t have those expectations to live up to. No one knew me so I had a chance to be the person I wanted to be. Honestly, coming out of someone’s shadow is the best thing in the world. You feel free.
Ever have that feeling when you let people out of your life that it is the end of the world? Even though you know that it is better to let them go and you still have great people in your life. Sometimes you can’t have everyone in your life because they are negative. I just don’t understand why it is so hard to let those people go. If they aren’t meant to be in your life, I always thought that it would easier to let them go. I soon found out this isn’t the case and that it is actually harder to let them go. When you do eventually let them go, it feels like it takes forever to get over it. Well that’s if you ever get over them.
I also never realized how weird it is to meet someone and not even become great friends with them, but they leave this lasting impression on you. You have this feeling that it could be a great thing, but you never see them again. You get this sense of loss and I feel like that shouldn’t happen. Friendship and love should be a great thing to experience, but it never happens that way.
I never understand this world because it is preached at us that people will come into your life when it is meant to be and who are meant to be. It is so hard to decide who that is and when that is. I wish the signs were easier to see and that people could be more open with each other.
Everyone has those thoughts that they keep in the back of their head. They either don’t say it because it is rude or people would think they are weird. That is, in my opinion, what is wrong with today’s world. There is so much judgement on people that it is hard to become your true self. People associate the phrase “come out of the closet” with homosexuals, but what if you could change the meaning to people coming to finding their real self. There is so much hidden inside of a person that you never know if they are truly themselves around you. They need to let their true self out and love it. It may sound like it is a typical media thing to say, “love yourself”, but honestly the media is saying love yourself, but they then go and judge everyone. How can you love yourself if you’re worried about the media or others judging you. My advice is find the people that you are comfortable with and don’t change for anyone. You will love your life a lot more.
This might not be my final post, but for now it is. My senior year was filled with some great memories and some not so great. That’s what you get though in life. We had a great homecoming filled with laughter, games, and memories. I probably won’t forget how windy it was because we sat inside the gym till right before we had to line up for the parade. The school year after that went by fast. We had numerous prayer services for people in our parish. We had a beautiful candle lighting service that I helped plan. I won’t ever forget this because the darkness becoming light inside of our gym was one of the most beautiful things in the world.
After Christmas break it began to go back even faster. I’m really going to miss Catholic Schools Week and how our school comes together so closely to celebrate this. I can’t wait to come back next year to watch our basketball team because I know they’ll be really good. Lent was also a fun time which is weird to say. We did things that other schools wouldn’t and it’s easy not to eat meat during school because they won’t let you.
Musical was up next and that is always a blast. It’s stressful at times but we always pull it together. I’m glad I got to end it off with one of the lead roles with my friend Lexe, even if she was a man. We are always good together and she critics me in a way that I know she means the best.
Prom and senior trip were the next big thing. Senior trip was fun, but there was a little drama that made it not so fun. Luckly that was the last night. I’m glad i got to go to a pro baseball game because that was on my bucket list, and call me a nerd but the museum was really fun. The cruise was one of the most fun things on the trip. My class actually bonded and apparently we have a class song with is “Don’t Stop Beliving” by Journey.
Prom was a great time too. It was a great way to end my senior year and I had a pretty cool date. My friends and I danced and ate too much but it was definitely worth it.
My senior year was filled with great memories with great people. To be honest I may get annoyed of some people and I say now that I can’t wait to never see them again but maybe I won’t say that in the future. My class of 24 is gonna be hard to replace.